THERAPEUTIC APPROACH FOR WOMEN
Internal Family Systems
You Are Tired of Fighting Yourself. IFS Makes Sense of the Conflict — and Helps You Find Peace Within It.
There is the part of you that wants to get better. And the part that is terrified of what that means. The part that pushes everyone away to stay safe. The part that is relentlessly critical, no matter what you accomplish. The part that has been managing the pain for so long it does not know how to stop. You have probably spent years trying to fight these parts, silence them, or bargain with them. Internal Family Systems offers something different — and more lasting.
IFS does not ask you to eliminate the difficult parts of yourself. It asks you to understand them — because every part of you, even the ones causing the most pain, developed for a reason. And when they finally feel understood rather than fought, something shifts.
THE PROBLEM WITH FIGHTING YOURSELF
The Harder You Push Against the Difficult Parts of Yourself, the Harder They Push Back.
Most of us have been taught — by well-meaning people, by culture, sometimes by previous therapy — that the goal is to overcome the difficult parts of ourselves. To silence the inner critic. To eliminate the anxiety. To stop the self-destructive patterns through willpower and insight alone.
But what happens when you try to silence a part of yourself that is screaming to be heard? It gets louder. What happens when you shame a part that already feels ashamed? It digs in deeper. The war inside you intensifies — and the exhaustion that comes with it is real.
IFS starts from a fundamentally different premise: the parts that are causing you the most pain are not your enemies. They are protectors doing the only job they know how to do — often a job they took on a very long time ago, in a situation where it genuinely made sense. The path forward is not to overpower them. It is to help them feel safe enough to stand down.
"Every part of you that feels overwhelming or impossible was doing something useful once. IFS helps you understand what — and frees both of you from it."
Your Mind Is Not One Voice.
It Is a Family — and Every Member Has a Role.
Internal Family Systems, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, is built on the observation that the mind naturally organizes itself into distinct parts — each with its own perspective, feelings, memories, and intentions. This is not a disorder. It is simply how human beings work. IFS gives you a framework for understanding these parts — and a way to relate to them that actually creates change. IFS describes three primary types of parts:
Exiles
The parts carrying old pain — shame, fear, grief, loneliness — often from childhood or earlier experiences. These parts have been pushed away because their pain felt too overwhelming. They hold the wounds that the other parts work so hard to protect.
Managers
The parts working to keep life under control and prevent the exiles' pain from surfacing. The inner critic, the perfectionist, the people-pleaser, the overachiever — these are often managers. They work tirelessly to keep you safe, even at enormous cost to your wellbeing.
Firefighters
The parts that activate when the exiles' pain breaks through anyway. They respond urgently — sometimes through behaviors that feel impulsive, numbing, or out of control — because their only job is to make the pain stop, as fast as possible, by any means available.
At the center of all of this is what IFS calls the Self — a core of calm, clarity, curiosity, and compassion that exists in every person, regardless of how buried it feels. The goal of IFS is not to create this Self. It is to help you access it — so that it can lead, rather than being drowned out by the noise of the parts.
WHAT IFS THERAPY LOOKS LIKE
Curious. Compassionate. Nothing Is Rushed.
IFS therapy moves at a pace that feels safe. You are never pushed toward material you are not ready for. Here is what the process generally looks like — though every person's path is their own.
01
Getting to know your parts
The first work is simply noticing — becoming aware of the parts that are most active in your life, how they show up, what they are trying to do for you. This phase alone often brings relief, because it shifts the frame from "something is wrong with me" to "a part of me is working very hard, for reasons that make sense."
02
Building curiosity and compassion
Rather than trying to change, silence, or eliminate difficult parts, you learn to approach them with genuine curiosity — what do they believe? What are they afraid would happen if they stopped? This curiosity, from the Self, is often the first thing these parts have ever received that is not judgment or force. And it changes everything.
03
Unburdening
As protector parts feel understood and safe enough to step back, the exiles they have been guarding can be reached. The old pain, the old beliefs — the "I am not enough," the "I am not safe," the "I am responsible for everything" — can finally be witnessed and released. This is where lasting change happens. Not through overcoming, but through healing.
04
Integration
Over time, the parts that were working so hard begin to trust that you — your Self — can lead. The system relaxes. The inner conflict quiets. Parts that were once at war begin to work together. The result is not the absence of difficult feelings, but a fundamentally different relationship with them.
WHAT CHANGES
This Is What the Other Side of That War Feels Like.
The inner critic loses its authority.
Not because it disappears, but because you understand it — and you stop having to obey it. What used to feel like the truth about who you are begins to feel like what it actually is: a part of you that is frightened, doing its best, and ready to rest.
Old patterns stop running on autopilot.
When you understand why a part developed a behavior, you have choice about it — real choice, not just willpower. The behaviors that felt compulsive begin to loosen, because the wound underneath them is getting the attention it actually needs.
Self-compassion becomes possible — and real.
Not the kind you perform because you know you should. The kind that comes from genuinely understanding yourself — what you have been carrying, how hard your parts have been working, and how much you have already survived.
Relationships shift.
When your internal world becomes less chaotic, your external relationships often follow. The patterns that kept repeating — the pushing away, the people-pleasing, the shutting down — begin to change, because the parts driving them no longer need to.
Who IFS Helps
IFS Is Especially Powerful When the Problem Lives Deep — and Willpower Has Not Been Enough.
IFS has strong research support and is particularly well-suited for experiences where the struggle feels internal — where you know what you "should" do and still cannot do it, or where a part of you wants one thing and another part wants the opposite. It works with the conflict directly, rather than trying to override it.
ifs is especially helpful for
Anxiety and overwhelm · Body image struggles · Eating disorders · Trauma and PTSD · Inner conflict and self-criticism · Perfectionism and people-pleasing · Relational patterns and attachment wounds · Depression · Low self-worth · Difficult life transitions
Women who come to ifs often say
"I feel like I finally understand myself." "I stopped fighting the part of me I hated most — and it stopped fighting back." "For the first time I feel like I am actually on my own side." "The critic is still there but it does not run the show anymore."
IFS AT EMPOWER
Payton Wortman Has Advanced Training in IFS. This Is What She Brings to the Work.
Payton Wortman, MSW, LMSW has advanced training in Internal Family Systems through the Internal Family Systems Counseling Association (IFSCA) — meaning she has gone significantly deeper into the model than standard introductory training provides.
Payton integrates IFS with her ACT training, creating a uniquely powerful approach — ACT provides the values-based framework and psychological flexibility skills for moving forward, while IFS works with the inner system that has been blocking the path. Together, they address both the direction you want to move and the parts of you that have been making it so hard to get there.
She specializes in eating disorders, body image, anxiety, trauma, depression, and self-esteem. She sees clients in person in Birmingham and online throughout Alabama. She practices under the supervision of Sara Lovelady, LICSW-S.
Common questions
What Women Ask Before They Begin.
Do I have to believe in "parts" for IFS to work?
You do not have to take the framework literally. Many clients find that even approaching it as a useful metaphor — a way of noticing that different aspects of themselves have different voices and needs — is enough to create meaningful change. The proof is in the experience, not the belief.
How is IFS different from ACT?
ACT and IFS are complementary rather than competing. ACT helps you change your relationship with difficult thoughts and feelings and take values-based action forward — it is particularly powerful for building psychological flexibility and clarity about what matters to you. IFS goes deeper into the internal system — understanding where the difficult parts came from, what wounds they are protecting, and helping those parts heal at their source. At Empower, Payton uses both together, which allows the work to address both the patterns you want to change and the underlying reasons they developed.
Is IFS trauma-informed?
Yes — deeply so. IFS was developed with a foundational understanding of trauma and how it shapes the internal system. It is one of the most gentle and effective trauma-informed approaches available, because it never pushes you toward material you are not ready for. The pace is always yours, and nothing happens without the cooperation of the parts involved.
Is IFS available online?
Yes. Payton offers IFS-integrated therapy online throughout Alabama — the same depth of work as in-person sessions, from wherever you are most comfortable.
You have been at war with yourself long enough.
There is another way to live in your own skin
A free consultation is simply a conversation. You do not need to have it figured out — that is what the work is for. Just tell us what has been hard.