Our brains limit us: How Counseling with Empower Counseling in Birmingham, Alabama can help.

I was recently interviewed for an article entitled “Is it Possible to be Singe Forever?” By Sarah Nazim.

When she asked me that specific question, “Is it possible to Stay Single Forever?”, my first thought was “Of course!”. My second thought was that most people would not answer the same way. Why would this be my answer and not the answer most others would give? 

I am able to have this thought… this answer, because I recognize all of the ways my mind tries to limit me.

Our minds are gifted at limiting us all under the guise of protection. What do I mean by this, you ask?

Our minds are built for our protection. Thousands of years ago our brains kept us from getting killed out in the wild by all of the dangers we could encounter. Our brains told us to worry about what other people thought of us because we needed the safety of a group to survive. 

Our brains elicited the fight or flight sensations from our nervous system to alert of immediate dangers that could be deadly. 

We needed our brains to protect in these ways to survive as a species back then.

What about now?

Well, technology and society has evolved in such a way that we no longer need our brains to protect us in the same ways from the same dangers. However, our brains have not received that memo. Our brains are still telling us that we need to worry about what others think about us. Our fight or flight responses kick in when we are anxious and not necessarily needed to keep us alive.

At this point our brains can actually cause us more harm than good while attempting to protect us. This high level of protection in situations that are not really dangerous to our survival cause us anxiety. By protecting us, our brains often keep us stuck in our comfort zones. Our brains limit us from reaching our true potential. Our brains keep us stuck in safety instead of living the exciting lives we dream of. 

So, is there anything we can do about this self-limiting our brains do to us? Is there any hope of getting unstuck…and even possibly…living the lives we have only dreamed of until now?

Yes, yes and yes!!! I am here to tell you we can understand exactly how our brains limit us, as well as, loosen the grip our brains have on us. Counseling with Empower Counseling in Birmingham, Alabama can help.

How, you ask? First, we each have to uncover how our brains limit us. What words do our brains use to do so? What “shoulds” do we have for ourselves, that keep us living the lives we think we should live vs. the lives we want to live?

One “should” many women have is that we should marry and we should have children. Who says? Now, do not hear me to say that there is anything wrong with marrying and having children. I have done both and could not be happier. What will cause problems is if you tell yourself you “should” get married and you “should” have children (especially on a specific timeline) if that is not the life you really want. 

If you are struggling with “shoulds”….If you do not know what you want your life to look like…If you feel stuck…call Empower Counseling. We will uncover how your brain is limiting you, what “shoulds” are getting in your way, exactly what you want your life to look like, and the actions that will get you there. 

Empower Counseling serves Homewood, Mountain Brook, Hoover, Vestavia, and all of Birmingham and its surrounding areas with in-person or online counseling for teens, college students, young adults, and professionals. Kathryn Ely with Empower Counseling is advance trained in Acceptance Commitment Therapy and specializes in helping clients with all forms of anxiety, depression, and difficult life transitions. Call Empower Counseling for help today 205-730-6570.

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